Are You a Democrat, a Republican or a Southerner?

Someone sent me this via email. I don’t know who to attribute it to but, as a Southerner, I thought it was funny and wanted to share. It’s entitled “Are You a Democrat, a Republican, or a Southerner?” Here is a humorous little test that will help you decide:

You’re walking down a deserted street with your wife and two small children. Suddenly, an Islamic terrorist with a huge knife comes around the corner, locks eyes with you, screams obscenities, praises Allah, raises the knife, and charges at you…

You are carrying a Kimber 1911 cal. 45 ACP, and you are an expert shot. You have mere seconds before he reaches you and your family. What do you do?

Democrat’s Answer:

* Well, that’s not enough information to answer the question!

* Does the man look poor or oppressed?

* Have I ever done anything to him that would inspire him to attack?

* Could we run away?

* What does my wife think?

* What about the kids?

* Could I possibly swing the gun like a club and knock the knife out of his hand?

* What does the law say about this situation?

* Does the pistol have appropriate safety built into it?

* Why am I carrying a loaded gun anyway, and what kind of message does this send to society and to my children?

* Is it possible he’d be happy with just killing me?

* Does he definitely want to kill me, or would he be content just to wound me?

* If I were to grab his knees and hold on, could my family get away while he was stabbing me?

* Should I call 9-1-1?

* Why is this street so deserted?

* We need to raise taxes, have paint & weed day.

* Can we make this a happier, healthier street that would discourage such behavior.

* I need to debate this with some friends for a few days and try to come to a consensus.

* This is all so confusing!

Republican’s Answer:

BANG!

Southerner’s Answer:

BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG ! BANG! BANG! BANG!

Click….. (Sounds of reloading)

BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! Click

Daughter: “Nice grouping, Daddy! Were those the Winchester Silver Tips or Hollow Points?!”

Son: “Can I shoot the next one?!”

Wife: “You ain’t taking that to the Taxidermist!”

Disclaimer: I know this “test” is stereotyped and not all will find it funny.  While I am not trying to offend anyone, I am likewise not willing to bow before the “politically correct police.”  I wish everyone would just lighten up a little and laugh about these things a bit.

Posted under Politics

This post was written by PonderstormMike on July 7, 2010

1 Comment so far

  1. R September 8, 2010 9:30 am

    Hilarious! So… what happens if you are a Southerner AND a Republican?

Leave a Comment

Name (required)

Email (required)

Website

Comments

More Blog Post