Someone sent me this via email. I don’t know who to attribute it to but, as a Southerner, I thought it was funny and wanted to share. It’s entitled “Are You a Democrat, a Republican, or a Southerner?” Here is a humorous little test that will help you decide:
You’re walking down a deserted street with your wife and two small children. Suddenly, an Islamic terrorist with a huge knife comes around the corner, locks eyes with you, screams obscenities, praises Allah, raises the knife, and charges at you…
You are carrying a Kimber 1911 cal. 45 ACP, and you are an expert shot. You have mere seconds before he reaches you and your family. What do you do?
* Well, that’s not enough information to answer the question!
* Does the man look poor or oppressed?
* Have I ever done anything to him that would inspire him to attack?
* Could we run away?
* What does my wife think?
* What about the kids?
* Could I possibly swing the gun like a club and knock the knife out of his hand?
* What does the law say about this situation?
* Does the pistol have appropriate safety built into it?
* Why am I carrying a loaded gun anyway, and what kind of message does this send to society and to my children?
* Is it possible he’d be happy with just killing me?
* Does he definitely want to kill me, or would he be content just to wound me?
* If I were to grab his knees and hold on, could my family get away while he was stabbing me?
* Should I call 9-1-1?
* Why is this street so deserted?
* We need to raise taxes, have paint & weed day.
* Can we make this a happier, healthier street that would discourage such behavior.
* I need to debate this with some friends for a few days and try to come to a consensus.
* This is all so confusing!
BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG ! BANG! BANG! BANG!
Click….. (Sounds of reloading)
BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! Click
Daughter: “Nice grouping, Daddy! Were those the Winchester Silver Tips or Hollow Points?!”
Son: “Can I shoot the next one?!”
Wife: “You ain’t taking that to the Taxidermist!”
Disclaimer: I know this “test” is stereotyped and not all will find it funny. While I am not trying to offend anyone, I am likewise not willing to bow before the “politically correct police.” I wish everyone would just lighten up a little and laugh about these things a bit.
1 thought on “Are You a Democrat, a Republican or a Southerner?”
Hilarious! So… what happens if you are a Southerner AND a Republican?