Ponderstorm My Brainstorm on Life & Politics

Someone sent me this via email. I don’t know who to attribute it to but, as a Southerner, I thought it was funny and wanted to share. It’s entitled “Are You a Democrat, a Republican, or a Southerner?” Here is a humorous little test that will help you decide:

You’re walking down a deserted street with your wife and two small children. Suddenly, an Islamic terrorist with a huge knife comes around the corner, locks eyes with you, screams obscenities, praises Allah, raises the knife, and charges at you…

You are carrying a Kimber 1911 cal. 45 ACP, and you are an expert shot. You have mere seconds before he reaches you and your family. What do you do?

Democrat’s Answer:

* Well, that’s not enough information to answer the question!

* Does the man look poor or oppressed?

* Have I ever done anything to him that would inspire him to attack?

* Could we run away?

* What does my wife think?

* What about the kids?

* Could I possibly swing the gun like a club and knock the knife out of his hand?

* What does the law say about this situation?

* Does the pistol have appropriate safety built into it?

* Why am I carrying a loaded gun anyway, and what kind of message does this send to society and to my children?

* Is it possible he’d be happy with just killing me?

* Does he definitely want to kill me, or would he be content just to wound me?

* If I were to grab his knees and hold on, could my family get away while he was stabbing me?

* Should I call 9-1-1?

* Why is this street so deserted?

* We need to raise taxes, have paint & weed day.

* Can we make this a happier, healthier street that would discourage such behavior.

* I need to debate this with some friends for a few days and try to come to a consensus.

* This is all so confusing!

Republican’s Answer:

BANG!

Southerner’s Answer:

BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG ! BANG! BANG! BANG!

Click….. (Sounds of reloading)

BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! Click

Daughter: “Nice grouping, Daddy! Were those the Winchester Silver Tips or Hollow Points?!”

Son: “Can I shoot the next one?!”

Wife: “You ain’t taking that to the Taxidermist!”

Disclaimer: I know this “test” is stereotyped and not all will find it funny.  While I am not trying to offend anyone, I am likewise not willing to bow before the “politically correct police.”  I wish everyone would just lighten up a little and laugh about these things a bit.

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Someone forwarded me an interesting “poem” that resembles a Dr. Seuss writing. If Dr. Seuss wrote about the nationalized health care legislation that was recently jammed through and shoved down our throats he might have said something like this:

I do not like this Uncle Sam,
I do not like his health care scam.

I do not like these dirty crooks,
Or how they lie and cook the books.

I do not like when Congress steals,
I do not like their secret deals.

I do not like this speaker, Nan,
I do not like this ‘YES WE CAN.’

I do not like this spending spree,
I’m smart, I know that nothing’s free.

I do not like your smug replies,
When I complain about your lies.

I do not like this kind of hope.
I do not like it, nope, nope, nope!

I don’t know to whom to attribute this cleverness but I think they did an excellent job expressing my sentiments. I feel they should resign and leave us alone so others can undo their damage!

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I’ve embedded a video for a very well done Israeli-made spoof remake of 1985 “We are the World” single that raised millions of dollars of aid for starving people in Ethiopia. This video spoof was produced by Hebrew-language media satire site Latma and presents the “Flotilla Choir” and their song “We Con the World.” It’s purpose is to address the biased world-coverage of recent events where Israeli soldiers (IDF) defended themselves after being attacked when they boarded a ship attempting to enforce the naval blockade of Gaza.

As of today this video has already been viewed more than 1.2 million times (learn more from report at Haaretz.com). I hope it’s viewed tens of millions of times more! (If you want to learn more about this incident and the biased international response then there’s a great op-ed piece by Charles Krauthammer entitled “Those Troublesome Jews” that I recommend reading.)

I’ve included the full text for this song below (sung to the tune of “We are the World”: Read More…

Posted under Israel, Video
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This article is a reprint of one of mine from March 20, 2009 that I wrote for the original PonderPost blog. It is reprinted here due to the remake of PonderPost.

Everybody makes mistakes. As in life, in politics there is no exception to this axiom. However, while it is understandable that a new administration will make a few extra mistakes, some of the recent ones by Obama and Biden are being noted around the world. For example, British Telegraph.co.uk editor Toby Harnden’s “Top 10 Gaffes by Barack Obama and Joe Biden” post found its way at the top of the Drudge Report today. That means it’s being read worldwide.

In looking Harnden’s list over, most are rather serious gaffes (other than Obama mistaking a White House window for a door). Many are poor attempts at humor such as Obama’s suggestion that Nancy Reagan had seances in the White House and his Special Olympics bowling joke on the Jay Leno show last night. Perhaps it was that statement that prompted this list.

I think one of the most serious gaffes, though, occurred over the Read More…

Posted under Barack Obama, Video
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The following guest post was originally published on March 24, 2009 for PonderPost. It was written by Tim Jones and is republished here with his permission to preserve it while PonderPost is renovated.

* * * * *

The University of Notre Dame has invited President Obama to give the commencement speech at the spring graduation ceremony.  Additionally, the university will bestow an honorary doctor of laws degree upon the President.

This has the Catholic community in quite a stir, as parishioners from both sides of the discussion weigh in.  On one side, many are happy to have the President speak, including a growing Facebook group called, “We Will Be Honored to Have President Obama at Notre Dame.” On the other, you have ardent, pro-life groups that wholeheartedly oppose the President speaking at the premier Catholic university in the country.

While I try to see both sides of the coin, I believe Notre Dame has made an egregious error by inviting President Obama to give the commencement address at, if not the premier Catholic university in the US, the most well-known Catholic university.

The Catholic Church represents one of the most fervent supporters of the pro-life movement, while President Obama represents one of the most pro-abortion politicians, ever.  President Obama has gone so far as to repeatedly vote for so-called pro-choice legislation that really amounts to infanticide, in the case of refusing medical care to live babies born after botched abortions.  His current administration threatens to, at the very least, lessen the ability for Catholic hospitals to operate with the elimination of healthcare conscience rule and to increase abortions by 125,000 per year with his Freedom of Choice Act.

It would seem that Notre Dame would prefer a commencement speech given by someone that more closely represents the Church’s positions, not just with regard to abortion, but across the board.  Doesn’t the Church have enough difficulty promoting it’s staunchly pro-life position without endorsing the exact opposite activity with President Obama as the commencement speaker?

As a Catholic and pro-life advocate, I’m disappointed with the Read More…

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